The Feedback Barrier
People might not give you feedback for two main reasons:
- They feel you won’t listen.
- They feel you won’t change.
For the first point, some people ask for feedback but when they receive it, they immediately make excuses like, “I did that because…,” or “That was an exception, normally I wouldn’t do that.” Even worse, some get angry when hearing things they don’t want to hear. Whenever you receive feedback, remember: no excuses.
For the second point, if you give feedback to someone but never see them take action, you might feel they don’t want to change. As a result, you might stop giving feedback, even if you think it’s important. At the end of the day, it’s their life, not yours.
Both points remind me to really listen when I get feedback and act on what I want to change. When people see that, they will feel more comfortable giving honest feedback, and that helps me grow.